totally in pain. and worn out.

feaking pissed today.
as in during part of the tuition.

guess it was monday blues haunting me again.

was like pulling a long face for the whole trip and
almost three quarter of the tuition session.
felt like dying.

like grrrrr....

i hate **.
relli like HATE sch life now.

no nothing.
but depress.

was even likehoping he might one day pop out and say" early april fools"
or just drop by and check on us.
as i discussed with yawn,
sometimes i rather hope that i was insane
or mentally unstable.

so that i least i would be free from o lvl's
or maybe even the pain of missing him.

maybe ppl will ifnally realise what i need,
how i feel all the while...
maybe then they would realise i wasnt what they thought of me as.

speaking about which,
this tuitor,
she think she relli know me so well.

first she say i might be some kind of perfectionist.
next minute she said she think/ feel im some kind of
quick tempered person.

i really dislike it when ppl start to think they know me so well,
yet they donch.
like they think they can analyse moi or sth.

but oh wadever.

life's boring.
im boring.

everyone everything every minute is boring.
and we're all merely scraping our life through
by making fun of one another and cropping up some lame jokes
to make the air fresher to breathe.

i feel sick.
maybe i was really too dependent on him in the first place.
maybe it was a mistake all along.

ok, i admit it,
it was.

but i can dare say i would nvr regret like what mx always does,
by saying: i shudnt have wasted 2/3 yrs of my life crushing ****

i feel dumb.
useless.
maybe at some point of time,
everyone will experience this.
or maybe nort.

perhaps it was just me myself alone.
lol.
like what xm say, both chi n eng half bucket of water.
well, at least she's independent,
she's gd at maths.

but i really rely too much on living for other ppl's sake.
i cant even pull myself together when he just transferred somewhere else.

just pathertic.

well, hey brena,
at least there's someone else more pathetic than u.
lol!

this morning while waiting for 97,
spotted a bus with words boldly printed: " STOP HURTING. START LIVING."

cool. that was really for me.
but i didnt know where to stop and how to start.

yuck. my blog sarks.
cant believe i was being so sadistic.

i have a mild feeling im having split personality.
thats bad.

i noe.

well, at least if one day i were to go mad,
i wont have to worry about anything anymore!

cheers~

-_=

* this is non other but a useless and, like what phugly PENGuin called- randomness ,blog.
lol.

10:50 PM ·